Note: This is a guest article by Judy Belmont. More details about her after the post.

The 11 Mental Health Habits of Highly Successful People

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” – Abraham Lincoln

Do you feel like a success in your life?

If you are like most people, even if you answered “YES” to this question, you likely have some qualifiers. After all, no matter how successful you are, you could always be more successful! And you don’t have to look around very hard to find others to compare yourself to not only who have it better than you do, but seem to have it all!

For the many discouraged souls who answered “no” to my question, dashed hopes, missed opportunities and past mistakes loom larger than life. For some, life’s setbacks are proof that they rank among life’s “losers.” For those individuals, failures in schooling, career, marriage, parenting, and friendships take a huge toll on self-esteem. To add insult to injury, we might learn that our seemingly ordinary high school or college peers have become more successful than we could ever imagine. Boy, some people have all the luck!

If you are among the ones that are feeling like success has skipped over you, how about starting today a lifetime of smashing success?

As Abraham Lincoln’s quote so aptly infers, it’s really what your thoughts are that determine if you are successful or not. After all, we have watched so many rich and famous public figures falling dramatically into addictions, despair, and disgrace. It is clear that outward success does not always mean you are a success in life, no matter how much fame or fortune you have attained. Just think of the 1950’s movie, Citizen Kane. This classic film depicted the plight of the very successful newspaper magnate, William Randolph Hearst, whose life of emptiness, insecurity, and narcissism served as a direct contrast to his outward success.

Thus, when we think of The 11 Mental Health Habits of Highly Successful People, we need to focus less on what things seem to be so that we can give up the notion that success comes mostly from the outside. That means we can all feel like successes if we just work on our attitude, no matter what how much money we have, the kind of car we drive or the neighborhood that we live in! In essence, positive people are more successful in life!

The following are the mental health habits of truly successful people in life:

1. Successful people do not measure themselves against anyone else’s yardstick.

They know well that if we evaluate success in comparison with others, even the most accomplished of us will end up falling short. Once you fall in the comparison trap, there will be no end to dissatisfaction. There’s always someone smarter, wealthier, more attractive and more accomplished!

2. Truly successful people compare themselves only to themselves!

While they choose not to compare themselves with others, they compare themselves only with themselves. Those with a successful mindset constantly improve on yesterday. After all, they are strong believers in the notion that the most important room in the world is the room for improvement!

3. Those with a successful mindset forgive themselves for everything.

Those successful souls that are energized and motivated by lessons from their setbacks refuse to beat themselves up over them. They are not judgmental of what they lacked in foresight, even with things that have become so obvious with hindsight. They realize that being human is a work in progress and mishaps only make them more genuine, deeper, and empathetic.

4. Successful people focus on their life as a WHOLE rather than focusing on THE HOLES.

Rather than focus on what is missing in their lives, they appreciate what they have. They tend to be grateful rather than bitter. They expect that the road to success will have some detours, bumps, and potholes. They have made peace with the fact that progress never goes in a straight, uncomplicated line.

5. Successful people move forward, despite occasional backward glances.

Even if progress seems slow, they do not give up and go back. They believe that revisiting past decisions that did not turn out only serve to be discouraging, and they prefer to live in the present, going onwards and upwards! Besides, they know that some things that don’t turn out end up being just what they needed after all! They know that “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s,” will make them stuck in reverse gear, and they are smart enough to know that is no way to drive any distance!

6. Asking for help is seen as a strength, not a weakness, in the highly successful mindset.

Those who have tasted success realize that success is never only about them. They are thankful for the many people along the way that helped make it happen. When they need help, they ask for it. They are not ashamed to need others.

7. People who are successful share the love!

That’s right! Instead of being stereotypically competitive and egocentric in climbing the ladder of success, truly successful people in life share the love with others! They realize that love is more important than anything else, and do not neglect loving relationships in a quest for success. They are more likely to love than judge those close to them, and know that part of loving others is accepting unconditionally, flaws and all. They also know that often the best way to do something for yourself is to help others!

8. With a watchful eye on their goal, successful people find success in the journey itself.

The process is not just a means to an end, and the journey is as important as the destination. They do not caught up in the idea that “when …….. happens, then I will be a success.” Rather, a sense of self worth is with them all along the way, and is not something to find only when they get there!

9. Those who are truly successful have nothing to prove.

Individuals who want to continuously prove themselves will always be sorely disappointed. Proving yourself entails looking for outside recognition, which does little when compared to inner recognition. Rather than prove themselves, successful people strive to actualize themselves.

10. Success is not measured by how hard you fall, but in how determined you get back up.

For successful people, resilience is the name of the game. Stumbles are viewed as precursors for success, and lessons learned offer opportunities to build character and develop wisdom.

11. Successful people are Doers, not Stewers.

They don’t wait for life to give them what they want or deserve, but work hard for anything they get. They refuse to sit on the sidelines of life, expecting that things should happen for them – Rather, they make things happen! In essence, they accept the cards they are dealt with life and are too busy playing their hand to complain about any lousy cards.

Image creditsTitle poster *based on awesome Michael Jordan Typeface by PhreshSoldier @ deviantART || End wallpaper from PulsarMedia.

Wrapping up

The 11 Mental Health Habits of Highly Successful People

So next time you think to be successful you need to have loads of money, a better car, a fabulous physique, perfect features, fame, along with brilliant and accomplished children and the perfect career, think again! Start being a success where you are right now. The 11 Mental Health Habits of Highly Successful People can be your personal guide to success!

Can you model these habits to be successful in life? What might be the difficulties you’re facing? What would you like to add to this list? Your feedback/comments are welcome. Please let us know and discuss.

Author box:

Judy BelmontAuthor name: Judy Belmont

About: Judy Belmont, MS, LPC is a psychotherapist and national speaker on mental and emotional wellness. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and American Society for Journalists and Authors. She is a frequent media source on psychological and personal development issues, and is the co-author of the recently released “The Swiss Cheese Theory of Life.” Judy’s Emotional Wellness For Positive Living blog/website is judybelmont.com, and she can be found on Facebook and Twitter @judybelmont.

P.S. If you like to contribute an awesome guest post on arkarthick.com, please contact me HERE with the subject line : Guest Post (or) send me a DM on Twitter @arkarthick.

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  • http://suchismita-onthebrink.blogspot.in/ Suchismita pai

    Interesting post. I like the idea of forgiving oneself and not looking back I think we spend a lot of time crying over spilled milk. Looking ahead is indeed the best thing to do, though it is not always easy.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks for the comment Suchismita – I agree that too much time is spent on what can;t be changed. Certainly it is not easy to stop reworking the past, but even harder to live life through the rear view mirror! Thanks, Judy

  • Jill Ritchie

    Thanks Judy

    Great article! A great way to start my day! I have shared it with my sons who are both in their 20′s and trying to figure out their lives.

    Jill

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thank you Jill – and thanks for sharing with your sons! Judy

  • http://www.op-ed.ca Robert

    As someone who recently left the corporate world to start my own company, blog posts like these are truly inspiring…and motivating. Great post Judy!

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks for your comment Robert! Very brave to leave the corporate world and glad this was a good resource for you! Good luck with your venture! Judy

  • http://mzazeela.tumblr.com/ Marc Zazeela

    Judy,

    I agree that is is all about your mindset. Think you are a failure and you surely will be.

    I especially like numbers 7 & 9. Share the love! How easy is that. Help someone without keeping score. And, who do you need to prove anything to? Your mother? Yourself? Why?

    Thanks for the reminders and the positive waves!

    Cheers,
    Marc

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks Marc – Yes – 7 and 9 are so important because if you try to PROVE instead of IMPROVE, you will be steeped in insecurity and not as free to “share the love!” Thanks for the positive comment! Judy

  • http://www.kaurpilates.com Kamal Gill

    Hi Judy,
    Great post.
    Thank you.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks Kamal – I appreciate you taking the time to let me know! Judy

  • Mathew Joy

    Extremely though provoking and to the point!

    Points 1& 2, though is something everyone knows of, but stating it explicitly give the right attention.

    Will read this everyday!

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks so much Matthew – I really appreciate it and I agree it is great to have reminders – even if it is something we know it can be so hard to do!

  • Amol

    Great article Judy!
    Thank you for this.

    This thinking is very much required today
    Money mind-set is setting in too quickly in corporate world (or has already set in).
    I have seen youngsters fresh out of college, happy with their first raise and very next day complaining about it being too low. Reason being, how much raise some one else got.

    All policies apart of not sharing your percentage numbers etc. young folks do discuss and end up brooding over being under paid or not given what they deserve.

    All the negativity spreads too quickly and kills entire teams spirit.
    When you are starting your career money shouldn’t be the first priority, experience should be and there are very few companies that pay so low that you cant survive.

    As long as things are good for you, they are indeed good.

    If you feel you are being underpaid or ignored during appraisals, go out in the market and find out what you really worth are.

    You are your won best judge.
    Only you can decide your own worth.
    Only you can decide how successful you are.
    If nothing works, watch “In pursuit of happiness” again.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      THanks Amol – you are so right! That is a great example about being happy with a raise until we learn it is less than the raise someone else got!

      Well stated! Looking forward to seeing your guest blogs in the future! Regards, Judy

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  • http://cjdeguara.com CJ Deguara

    Excellent article, great work. Authors often suffer from nasty gremlins like self-doubt, the one sure way to success is to take every opportunity to learn and grow and constantly convert set backs to a learning curve.

    Especially like the “Successful people do not measure themselves against anyone else’s yardstick.” This is extremely true but if I may I would like to add a bit of elaboration;
    In a world where there are infinite unique combinations of people, we are all different with different strengths, experiences, life skills, education, emotional intelligence etc

    For this reason we cannot measure ourselves to others since the variables are infinite and as you stated we will inevitably find that every individual in this world has at least one thing that is superior or at least different to us.

    On the other hand though there is always 1st place and successful people also know that hard work, determination, perseverance and learning from others is imperative to acquiring 1st place if it is what we want. So from that point I believe that whilst from an individualistic point of view as a whole person you should never measure your success in relation to another whole, it is important to be aware of Number 1 in X so you may learn and emulate the character traits that assist in achieving success.

    On that note thank you for providing us with a list of traits of successful people to learn from and emulate.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      THanks so much CJ for your very well thought out comments and support. I really appreciate it! It certainly is futile when we measure ourselves against anyone else’s yardstick, but we certainly can learn and emulate our role models. The difference is we do not judge ourselves as inferior because they are “better.” Rather – we become better ourselves by finding mentors we can learn from. In learning form them, we can bring out the bet in us! Regards, Judy

  • http://danielme.com daniel

    Very interesting. Thank you very much and don’t give up :)

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks Daniel – Appreciate your comment and I will never give up! Regards, Judy

  • http://www.yogainspires.co.uk Ntathu Allen

    Thank you Judy. Just what I needed to read. Points 6/7/8 particularly resonated with me. Exhale. Great post and I love your bright colourful website:)

  • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

    Thanks so much Ntathu! Thanks for visiting judybelmont.com!

  • http://mjetetim.blogspot.com/ Mjete Tim

    Thank you a million times, thats just so enlighting.

    • http://judybelmont.com judy Belmont

      Thanks Mjete – i appreciate your comment! Judy

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  • http://treasurycafe.blogspot.com david k waltz

    Judy,

    That is a great list to aspire to. One of the activities common in the business sphere is the process of benchmarking, where companies compare their metrics to others in an effort to determine where they may be falling short or excelling.

    In one of my recent blog posts, I advocated companies not perform these excercises for a number of reasons, but a lot of them fall within the framework of items #1 and #2 on your listing.

    By maintaining an inward drive rather than focusing on others, and striving to do better vs. what we did before, we will attain the benefits of the benchmarking excercise without ever needing to complete it!

    If interested, here is the link to that article:
    http://treasurycafe.blogspot.com/2012/09/dont-waste-your-time-benchmarking.html

    Thanks!

    Dave W.

    • http://judybelmont.com judy Belmont

      Thanks David for your comment and resource! Judy

  • http://wightbuzz.co.uk Lyn Blackledge

    An enlightening article that I am going to share with my Wightbuzz network. It has taken me a long time to develop an attitude of gratitude and enjoy my journey but I have finally got there and see the potholes and bumps along the way as just other exciting challenges to overcome. This will be a beneficial read to my members. Thank you.

    • http://judybelmont.com judy Belmont

      Thanks Lyn for reading, commenting and sharing! Nice you are spreading that “Attitude of Gratitude!” Judy

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  • http://j3webmarketing.com Yoav Burger

    Great post, Judy. There are some great ways of staying positive – I especially like the point about not comparing to someone else – just yourself. Being kind to yourself and keeping a good perspective of your whole life’s work rather than the latest incident. Because many other people could benefit by your insights, I have included your blog post in ‘Best of the Web’ http://bit.ly/j3bestweb, and shared it on Facebook Google+ and now Pinterest. Thanks Judy.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      THanks so much Yoav – I appreciate you putting my blog post in “The Best of the Web!”

  • gregory vowell

    thank you again, you are a plethora of great information.

  • http://www.mindhealing.ie Mind Healing

    Interesting article. It’s certainly the case that those who constantly run the ‘I should, I shouldn’t’ voice around in their heads are engaging in a narrative that is often far more negative than is actually true. Success comes with breaking that and moving forward.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      I can’t agree with you more. THanks for your comment! Judy

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  • http://way-to-be-healthy.blogspot.com carolina

    I want to say that successful people have strong mind than other because if they don’t they they would never become successful in life, but there are some exception also. Really nice topic to share with all of us.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks Carolina – I agree that successful people have a lot of inner strength! THanks! Judy

  • http://www.acermel.trulyrichclub.com Melbert

    The word “great” isn”t enough to dscribe this post. To some it might just be another article similat to others, but for me its an amazing and very inspiring piece. You just dont know how it can awaken the sleeping giants in every indivudual who will get to read this. Truly, we are all just in competition to ourselves. The day we realize this is the day beginning of our journey to success…and teh rest will be history.

    I will surely reccommend this to my associates & friends.

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thank you so much for this beautiful comment Melbert. I so much appreciate it and hope you are continuing to think positive! Regards, Judy

  • tope kalejaiye

    wow judy dz is d most inspiring write ups av read,am a victim of not forgiving ma sef buh i wuld try 2 accept dat am human and am bound 2 make mistakes,tanx

    • http://www.judybelmont.com Judy Belmont

      Thanks Tope! I appreciate you reading and commenting! We all make mistakes – that is part of being human. Judy

  • Benjamine

    Thank you.

  • http://www.christopherkober.com Christopher Kober (@chkober)

    I also like this habit a lot: Sucessful people compliment. (Unsuccessful people criticize)
    Everybody likes to receive a compliment. It is not only nice, but it also motivates you to move forward. Besides, if you say something nice to someone, then they will enjoy being around you and in turn see you as a nice person. It is nice to be nice. :) Thanks for the great post! Best, Chris

  • Iggy, Car Lover

    Hey Judy, thanks for these informative and interesting pointers. It’s truly important to cultivate the right mindset. Without it, it’s so much easier to fall off the path to success.

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