Note: This is a guest article by Nischala Murthy Kaushik. More details about her after the post.

Can a Sorry undo Everything?

“Sorry” is a commonly used word by many of us to apologize for what we said / did (intentional / unintentional) and the outcome / consequence were “negative” in more than one way. So we feel apologetic about the way in which our words or deeds affected an individual, circumstance or outcome and end up saying SORRY.

* For many of us, saying SORRY is never easy – Whether or not we are at fault.
* For many of us, saying SORRY is very easy – In spite of what kind of impact we’ve had on others lives.
* For many of us, saying SORRY is circumstantial – So if we believe we are at fault, then we have the courage to say sorry or if we believe Sorry will help a critical / life-changing situation we say sorry (even if we are not at fault). But if it’s not our doing, then we don’t say sorry…

But the more important question is “Can a SORRY really undo EVERYTHING?”

Let me explain with a few examples:

1) Case of domestic violence within the four walls – Wives beating husbands / Husbands beating wives. One / Both end up physically bruised, emotionally battered and mentally disturbed.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo what was thought, said, did, felt and experienced during that tough moment?

2) Case of politicians misusing national funds / national resources – Politicians siphoning off public funds for personal gains / luxuries / vanity.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo the impact of what economic disparity eventually breeds in the society, in the minds of people?

3) Case of doctors misleading / misguiding patients – Doctors exaggerating / underplaying the medical diagnosis OR providing wrong medication / advice OR not providing timely medical intervention.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo the impact of a doctor’s misdeed – Be it a lifelong disability, death or even temporary inconvenience and agony of the patient and immediate loved ones?

4) Case of child abuse – Adults physically abusing children.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo the physical, mental, and emotional scars that will stay with the child for a lifetime?

5) Case of teachers ill-treating / humiliating / imparting “wrong morals / values / teachings / behavior / lessons” to students in the most impressionable years of their life.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo the lifelong impact of these learning’s?

6) Cases of organizations / institutions discriminating between individuals – based on gender, background, financial standing, ethnicity, social status, or power of authority, etc.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY undo the deep mental and emotional agony that an individual went through as a consequence of public discrimination?

7) Case of you cheating those who trust you profoundly / someone you trust in good faith cheating you – Be it in business or in your personal life.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY help re-gain the trust that was built over years?

8) Case of you passing a “character judgment” on someone / someone passing judgment on your “character.”

And then saying SORRY . Can a SORRY help undo the personal reputational damage because of this character assassination?

9) Case of an individual or organization not honoring a personal / professional commitment.

And then saying SORRY. Can a SORRY reverse the potential impact (monetary and otherwise) of the missed commitments – Not to mention the heightened stress levels due to this delay?

I have intentionally given a diverse range of examples – one / many of which you would have definitely experienced in your own life.

The most important question is again – “Can a SORRY really UNDO everything?”

The answer is NO – Simply because in some instances the very words / deeds have created an “irreparable damage” in someone’s life; which is unpardonable.

So what are those situations in which a SORRY really not does help!

A) When one’s self-confidence is ebbed

Self-confidence is one of the most important attribute that determines the course and choices in your life. If one’s self-confidence is diminished by another’s words / deeds, it usually has a deep long-lasting impact; and that impact is usually for life. Saying SORRY cannot undo this impact or help revive one’s self-confidence. And it usually takes eons to regain self-confidence.

2) When one’s self-respect is tattered

Self-respect defines you in more than one ways – In terms of how you view yourself, how you view the world, how the world views you and how the world reacts & responds to you. And so if one’s self-respect is tattered, it has a huge impact in your life in more than one way. And usually, it takes a significant amount of time, conscious effort and environmental support, assurance and re-enforcement to revive your own self-respect.

3) When one’s basic human emotions are numbed

When your words / actions numb a basic human emotion (for e.g. joy, anger, fear, etc.) in an individual, something dies within! And usually one becomes stoned for life, that is, one reaches a stage when some things just do not matter anymore! In such scenarios, saying SORRY really has no meaning or relevance. It is usually very hard to revive such human emotions even over a lifetime.

4) When one’s dreams are shattered

We all have dreams – For some it is the dreams, which keep them awake at day, and for some it is the dreams, which keep them awake at night. And dreams really help us create “make believe worlds” for ourselves in which every human imagination can be translated into reality. When your dreams are shattered, then your personal and precious “make believe world” (which in many instances was probably the only shining and guiding star of your life) is engulfed in darkness. And then no matter what anyone says or does, it does not really help. A SORRY cannot bring back your shattered dream.

5) When one’s hopes are diffused

The real world is filled with constraints, challenges, trials, and tribulations. And if there’s one thing that takes us through the many lows of life – It is our hopes – hope for good health, hope for wealth, hope for rainbows, hope for peace and harmony, hope for happiness, hope for lasting relationships, hope for fulfilling life experiences, hope for a better tomorrow. And if one’s hopes about themselves, life, future, people and society are diffused, then there’s little meaning to what you can expect and wish for. And SORRY cannot bring back diffused hopes.

*Title photograph credit: (CC 2.0) Tony Fischer / Long Beach Island Sunset @Flickr || End: DesiTub

Ending Words of Wisdom

Can a Sorry undo Everything?

It’s better not to be in a situation when you have to say SORRY because your words or actions triggered one / more of the above.

And one of the easiest ways to achieve this is to pause before you say / do anything and ask yourself how you would feel if someone did / said this to you!

Can a SORRY undo EVERYTHING? What’s your take on this sensitive issue? Leave a comment to let us know & discuss.

Author box:

Nischala Murthy KaushikAuthor name: Nischala Murthy Kaushik

About: Philosopher | Mother | Writer | Blogger @ Nischala’s Space, Thoughts, Expressions and Guest Blogger in sites of global repute | Work @ Wipro | IIMB Alumni | Scholar and Guru of Life for Life | Chief Happiness Officer (CHO) of my LIFE | On Twitter @nimu9

P.S. If you like to contribute an awesome guest post on arkarthick.com, please contact me HERE with the subject line : Guest Post (or) send me a DM on Twitter @arkarthick.

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  • http://www.freelancewritingdreams.com Samantha Gluck

    A “sorry” certainly cannot undo everything. For me, I think the most glaring examples of this involve domestic violence (whether physical or emotional), child neglect, and character assassination. Even a far-reaching public apology (i.e. televised or on radio and print) cannot really undo the damage done.

    My daddy always told me that ugly words are like shooting a bullet out of a gun. Make sure you want to pull that trigger and do the damage that the bullet will do, because nothing can suck that bullet back into the barrel and make everything ok again, once you’ve shot it.

    • Nischala

      hi Samantha – So true! Its hard to undo what you said / did – especially the bad stuff! Hence better to not do / say it at all. – Nischala

  • http://seattledesigner.blogspot.com Terri Nakamura

    The title of this post caught my eye because of a recent experience on social media.

    Another instance where “sorry” doesn’t fix things is when someone has completely betrayed your friendship by lying and misleading you and others. In the case I’m referring to, the individual created such a web of deceit, not even those left in her circle know the true extent of her actions.

    Often, saying “sorry” is a gesture that yields a positive outcome, but as your blog post points out, when issued in irreparable situations or in a perfunctory manner, it is meaningless.

    • Nischala

      Hi Terri – Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I agree so much with you. I’ve also had unpleasant social media experiences – One in which it appears that people have a “split personality” – So they actually think something but portray a “very good” online behavior and attitude – In fact some of these people have even received accolades for their social media work.. But if you connect with then offline you get a sample of what they really are… And in many instances they are not even SORRY :(

  • http://suchismita-onthebrink.blogspot.in/ Suchismita pai

    Hi, A very pertinent piece. I feel sorry lost its sheen through overwork. It has become a tired, overworked, lackluster umm ‘sorry’ little string of alphabets. It means nothing because it is proffered for everything from when you get a wrong number to when you want to break up with someone. Maybe we should say it less and mean it more!

    • CherConte

      Hi, I agree that the word “sorry” has lost its value and meaning due to overuse, sarcasim, and inconsideration. To me the word means nothing without action behind it. “Sorry” has taken on such almost a blank word. Something that is just said to get out of a situation, stop an arguement, to get out of conflict of any kind. It is ashame that a word that could and should have so much power has become a word that doesnt solve anything but could potentially start something.

  • http://gophones-8.com/ Helson @ Go Phones

    I think it depends on us to undo it or not..
    gophones

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